I am perplexed that some people buy an Apple product and thereafter use it as a justification to espouse their personal notoriety. Now to clarify, I think buying a swanky new iPhone or Macbook is just fine and dandy. However it is 2009. The really cool kids on the street had their iPhone 2 years ago, before the last ice age. In addition to their enjoying the finest in ridiculously expensive new bauble, early adopters also purchase bragging rights for being the first. Now that everybody's grandmother has an iPhone, buying a 3G-S has devolved into an overwhelmingly plebian experience. Revolutionary is one thing. Evolutionary is boring.

The fourth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV) divides Mac users into 3 major groups:

1. MacSavvy. These are the people who genuinely use the Apple platform for its software strengths. They are often involved with the generation of media, production, statistical analysis, and other fancy shiny things that make us go WOW! or HUH? They shrivel up and die if you cut the umbilical cord that attaches them to their Mac.

2. MacSexy. These are the people who buy Apple products because they are trendy. They are usually female (or male and effeminate). They proclaim how cool Apple products are, and why everyone should have them, because you know, they have it, and they are cool. Check out my small dog in my designer purse. They think they are amongst the MacSavvy.

3. MacSleazy. These are the people who suck at computers but do not realize it. They are usually male. They complain that their PC's are slow and crash all the time. They bloat their computers with needless software (the more search bars the better) and malicious programs - a nasty venereal itch from salacious surfing. They too think they are one of the MacSavvy.

In other news, I bought a black fourth generation 8GB iPod Nano. It is my first iPod. It was the cheapest one with a screen. It was my choice because Apple has become the defacto platform standard in portable audio. This makes me 8 years behind the cool curve that the cool kids ride. When pigs will fly on a cold day in hell, I might even buy a Mac computer.

Well hello there.

The last update to my blog was October 22, 2007. AKA: 1 year, 7 months, and 21 days. AKA: 599 days. AKA: A really long time. Two full litters of human beings could have gestated in this time frame. A third one could be on its way.

In some ways, much has happened in my life since the last update. I have moved. I was chief resident. Car versus Badger. I became a running junkie. I wrote my royal college exams. I am older.

The world has also changed. Usain Bolt ran. All hail Obama. GM and Chrysler are government companies. Chastity is now Chaz. We are fatter than ever.

You will need to excuse the fact that my writing is more choppy and disjointed than ever. The only writing that I have done in the past year is all work related. Nothing narative. Everything technical. It will take some practice and a number of blog entries before I can communicate like a normal human being again. My blog entries in the mean time will come from an army of 800lb gorillas pounding randomly on smartphones.

The first task of any lapsed blogger who feels guilty of letting their blog slide is to rationalize their failure. I blame facebook, work, and studying. Facebook is a bad place where user created content goes to die.

The next task is to redesign the website to make it trendy but impractical. I will work on that later, but soon. There are work/research projects I need to toil upon on first.

Finally, the promise (that may go unfulfilled) for more updates.